July 17th, 2006

Buffy

Decision Making

I made a decision at MYC and I'm going to tell you about it and the leading up of the making of decision.
We had a talk on marriage, a talk on careers and I went to an elective on mission work. We had some talks on God's sovereignty over everything. We looked at ways to make decisions. Some people expect to be told what God wants them to do by getting some kind of feeling or a direct answer to prayer or something. But we're given a lot of freedom in our choices. There's stuff we shouldn't do, like theft, prostitution etc, but apart from that, we can do whatever we want. So, I want to tell people about Jesus and his saving grace, it's what I've wanted to do since forever. It's just the formatting of how to tell people I've wondered about.

So anyway. on the talks about marriage, it occured to me that marriage is over-rated. I mean, sure, security of relationships and all that, but it's a lot of hard work. And if I ever get married, I'm the kind of person who will make it work despite anything and everything. I will suffer all kinds of wrong to make a marriage work because I believe that when both people are giving it their all, it will work! I don't care what people say about compatability and personality tyoes and all that crap, people can change and I will change to make it work.

That being said, it would be hard work even in the easiest of relationships, and I am no where near prepared for that kind of commitment. And I don't want to play around with some guys heart either. What's the point of dating if it's not going towards marriage? So, I'm taking myself out of the dating game for the next while. <----- there it is. My decision. I'm jumping out of the dating pond, consider me not a fish in the ocean to be caught. I'm happy about my decision. God knows that I want to get married, but I think there's more important things to be concerned about. For exmaple, the spreading of God's word throughout the world. I'm just going to focus on being single, not consider my options, and look at making myself more Godly and work towards the mission field.

I feel really good about this decision and it's already affected my perception of my relationships with guys. I'm no longer considering them as future marriage partners, but just friends. Which is something I was struggling with. I still am, but given my different focus, it's a significantly lesser struggle! So yay for that! And given that God is sovereign over what I do, even though I'v made this decision, I could still get married, I'm just not going to think about until it hits me in the face.

I'm really enjoying the relationships I have with girls right now. And I'm gardening with Lise, and that's really fun. I'm really enjoying myself and various stuffs right now. Yay for that!

I really want to go to Japan, and I'm excited over the opportunites that I'm presented with. Dad's still looking into a short-term mission trip, and that's exciting.