August 13th, 2007

Homestarrunner DDR

Defining Relationships

"We understand the importance of clarifying expectations, guarding hearts, protecting ourselves from inappropriate desires and liberties. We define the relationship so everyone is clear about the terms of the relationship and no one gets hurt." - Thabiti Anyabwile

ah hah! Someone else agrees that relationships ought to be defined! huzzah!
I've become aware that one of my guy friends likes this girl, and I feel so much more free to be friends with him now. Until something like that is clear, I'm a bit afraid to be a friend to a guy. Particularly when I'd have no other way to gauge his feelings. I'm not trying to assume that all guys are interested in me *gigglesnort*, because I know for absolute certain that most are not. But for those few that I'm not sure, I find it awkward.

In her book Relationships, former college professor Dr. Pamela Reeve discusses three levels of friendships: acquaintances, companions and intimate friends. Dr. Reeve observes that men and women cannot sustain an intimate friendship without one or the other harboring romantic expectations. She recommends that men and women avoid being intimate friends outside of courtship and marriage.

Companions, she says, generally spend less than two hours together a week. When a man indicates he would like to see the woman more than that, but claims they are "just friends," he sends a mixed message.

Dr. Reeve writes: "One party can selfishly enjoy all the benefits of a relationship, the warmth and relief from loneliness, the satisfaction of the attention that feeds the ego — all without the accompanying commitment. One party luxuriates, while the other party feels cheated and is left with deep unsatisfied longings." - Suzanne Hadley
me fighting

About me

"btw, I just want to go on record saying - you are a very cool, very unusual person. I've it before, but I'll say it again - I don't /quite/ get you, Kat. I dunno, part of me could see you with the pretty, fashionable girls in high school, bragging about who has the better eating disorder - but that's not the way you went. It's anthropologically interesting."

Never heard this one before. comment?
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