March 16th, 2010

Inara and Mal


Last night I needed to forgive. This afternoon I finally forgave. And it happened because I remembered that "Jane" had sinned against GOD, not me. And that God had already forgiven her. I knew that her intentions were good, despite the execution which led to me being hurt, angry and indignant. But I couldn't get over myself. So I prayed, and in my prayer, was reminded that she had sinned against God, not me. That it took the death of God himself to make that right. And that God had already done this. So why was I still licking my wounds, feeling sorry for myself?

It feels much better to have forgiven. I feel like the relationship is free once more. I don't have a knot in my tummy, making me anxious of the next time I see her.

Jane doesn't know that I needed to forgive her. She doesn't know that I have. She doesn't need to know any of it. In this particular scenario, it is not loving to Jane, or helpful to our relationship for me to let her know. But that's ok. My heart is willing to love her again; to see her as a sinful person who requires my patience and grace. Which is exactly how she sees me too! :D