February 8th, 2012

kitty little and lonely

Half Way Through Week 2

Half way through week 2! It's going pretty well, I reckon.

On Monday and Tuesday I tested a bunch of middle primary students, who hadn't been tested last year. It was a good start as I get great opportunities to meet students and start forming relationships. A lot of what we were told on the PD last week was that these kids are "beautiful" and I have mixed experience with that. On one hand, they're little rats and horrible scoundrels. On the other hand, the exact same student can also be cute and sweet and even, beautiful. I wish I could download a work ethic into them. But I can't. And when they're being cheeky, or when they're humbly pleased with themselves for achieving a task, they're beautiful. And I love being 1-on-1 with them. It'd be too much if I had a whole class.

I was helping out in a class all day today and the teacher was AMAZING!! He had high energy and enthusiasm and patience ALL DAY and he was bloody fantastic. He has stuff to learn still and he is still wrangling behaviour management practices in, and he's still figuring out how to actually get to the teaching part of being a teacher (because they don't sit still or listen). But he's fantastic at building rapport and a positive classroom environment.

I don't think I could do that. And I'm happy to say I'm quite happy doing ATAS and, boy did I dodge a bullet!

Bible study was last night and it was encouraging. But I have an unfortunate discerning homunculus that cannot be gagged. Which meant I was questioning pretty much everything everyone said all the time (including myself). Being discerning is good and I'm pleased to say I agreed with 99% of what was shared. The 1% was not important stuff AT ALL. But it was exhausting and got in the way of actually engaging properly with the people, relationally. And I'm missing my bosom buddies back home. Though I actually don't think about it, because when I do I get sad. So I just never think about my friends back home.

I hope you friends back home understand. I love you. Yes, you.

I hope that over time, my discernment homunculus will quiet down, and that shared experiences and conversations mean that friendships can grow a bit. I'm very thankful to have made a couple of friends that I would call close friends. And that's a real encouragement. But I feel a bit on the outer of the Bible study group still, and that's always a hard feeling. I hate feeling this way! I've felt this way back in Perth too. So it isn't a new feeling, just new people. And there are less people to feel on the outer with.

But anyway, this is a lot of typing. Given that that's my only problem, I would call myself blessed. Things are looking up and life is going pretty good. Except for my prayer life, which is flagging. And I'm feeling a little down. Which might have something to do with the aforementioned friendship problems. Making friends is hard! WAH! Anyway. The end :)