Kat (etimodnar) wrote,

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Legalism and Modesty

There was a link that I posted to Facebook protesting about the whole bra colours thing to raise awareness for breast cancer. I didn't participate in the colour update meme partly because I remembered an incident a while ago with Josh. Josh and I had talked a while ago about the appropriateness of my bathers because I didn't want to cause him to sin. He said that for him, bikinis were fine. A few weeks after that conversation, we were going to a party and we made 2 t-shirts with some iron-on transfers on them to fit a theme. In the process of ironing them on, I whipped off my top, and put the other on to see if the transfer was in the right position, then swapped my tops again. Josh spoke to me afterwards and said that given the different context, what I did was actually unhelpful to him - something that I hadn't been aware of.

But adding to that incident is just a general desire not to have people know my bra colour. Sometimes a bra strap will poke out from underneath a dress or top and that's hard to avoid. But if I can avoid it, then I will. I just don't think it's appropriate or helpful for people to know.

This isn't a blanket rule applying to all women everywhere. I will always maintain quite firmly that modesty starts in the heart and women should be talking to their brothers about what's appropriate when. But if I want to draw some lines about what I think is appropriate for me - and maybe that gets people talking about the modesty issue in a helpful way, and gets women thinking about it too, then how is that wrong?

I deleted the whole thread on facebook because there were some very unhelpful comments on it posted by my own Brothers, saying that I was verging on legalism. How is this legalism? Because I think that what I'm doing is getting me right with God, that because of it I'm going to Heaven? NO! Rather, from the very beginning, it's motivated by love. It was incredibly frustrating to get those kind of comments from the very people I was motivated in helping. It actually made me rather angry and I responded in anger. So I decided it was best to delete the entire thing.

I know these waters are murky. That they're rooted in context and culture because as Christians, that's what we're living in and engaging with. That I cannot help every man with every problem because we are ultimately sinful to the bone. I know this. But should the overwhelming nature of the problem stop me from engaging with it? Should I give in either way to dressing like a whore, or wearing a burqua? Are you kidding me?

To anyone who will respond, consider this: I am trying to be motivated by love, care and concern for my brothers. I'm not taking on what men should be responsible for in themselves. But I am trying to help them fight the good fight.

Mark, this is in response to one of the other men who was commenting on that link. I am more than happy to continue to engage in this discussion with you, because you listen and care. I find that your comments are motivated by love. Unlike this other fellow who was more interested in talking at me. But you did say that this reminded you of legalism, so maybe this entry can help you understand my motivation in wanting to be modest and draw some lines in the sand for myself :)
Tags: 20 or more comments, christian, facebook
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