Kat (etimodnar) wrote,

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Last night was a bbq at Anna's house. And it was an absolutly lovely time! I was surrounded by people I love, I was blissfully ignoring any annoyingness that some people had with other people, I had a nice swim in the pool, I made a nice salad, and other people brought yummy food. I had an awesome conversation with Tom, that made me feel just so good! I love my friends so much. I sat at the table for maybe 10mins, with my eyes closed, jsut listening to everyone talk and the music and I was possibly the most content I'd ever been. Even remembering it makes me feel good inside. I got lots of hugs and kisses. Which was nice. I felt loved, and just so content.

It's amazing sometimes... Something that happens or is said now, can be remembered and taken in. It affects the future. I think I haven't seen many effects of anything I do or say for a while, so I'm forgetting that they do have an effect. It feels good to know that somehow, in even the smallest ways, in the most insignificant act, I can make a big difference. Like praying for Mr Westbrook, or encouraging a friend, when I think that it'll make the least difference. It's kinda overwhelming. But I feel in awe that God has it in control, and I can be of some use. A stuff up like me can make a small difference! How awesome is that!

I just feel so good right now.

I think... I've talked it over with Dad, and I don't think I'll go to Europe in the middle of the year. I really want to go. But I'll be streching myself a bit thin trying to earn the money to go. Besides, when I eventually graduate from uni, I'll get a job, and then I'll get this massive holiday over Christmas and money from having a proper job, to go overseas with. It'll just be easier that way. I think it's wiser that I don't go. Besides, I want to go to Japan, and that'll be a trip that'll be satisfying a longer term goal of being a missionary in Japan. I really want to go with my friends. But... not having that experience, isn't such a big deal.

This has been a big decision, and I'm a little sad to be making it. But I feel good that I'm releaving some pressure on myself. Besides, I'll have more money available to me for miscellaneous spending. w00t(!) lol and also a bunch of 21st this year. I swear, every weekend is going to be one!
Tags: europe trip, friends
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